A light at the end of a very dark emotional tunnel.
This last week every time ive looked at my kids ive felt an overwhelming separated of pride you see my little family have been on one serious journey these last 18 month(thats excluding the actual life one) to the point that every single day we had the potential to be separated from each other with no going back which was an absolute major life changer for us all to a point the cycle of my childhood cud of been said it was history repeating itself as my kids being left with no mum!! kids in care blah blah blah!! every theory ever written finding some way of working into this but this shit just wasn't happening uh huh!!! no way!!!
Every single day/night we was tested by authorities and numerous well incompetent ass holes on every given job titled that passed are way and having to just do what i had to do even if there jobs were proven illegal at times but my mind had to stay on my plan me and my little family staying together we had sometimes that many times to be here there everywere not even someone with a p.a and full crew behind them cud deal with but every night i ticked another box...well carrying on my emotional rollercoater and self employment) Another day DONE TICK-/ thinking thats another day we survived together.
The darkest times ive ever experienced day in day out 24/7 was having to face my little mini me's everyday and no that my man was were he was i swear was some of the most unbearable gut wrenching moments ever!! (and there aint much i cud say ive not experinced in my life) i had people everywere pushing boundries and having to learn to ignore them (wow!) but finally we can see a light at the end of are tunnel and were all on a new level of such deep love and a loyalty ive never known any kids/man to experience everywhere due to are histories learning curves life experiences to ever understand. But to anyone reading this who thinks life's shit trust me find a positive somewhere somehow and work on it and trust me if you can somehow do this even on gut wrenching days of pure pain then you will eventually come out the other side with not only finally after 34 yrs. a self love and respect for my own emotional needs but my children and my man to floor me with pride in there handling of this horrendous chapter but to close it and be excited to move on to the next!!!
Thats just what im going do ive been asked by an internet writing site to join in a book to be published to encourage people that us real people in this messed up little world we live is actually just that
"Either fuk it and run or face it and recover which do you choose"
